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Why I Ride

For most of my life I was blessed to say that I was never personally affected by cancer. I would hear about people having it, but not much was said after that. Cancer grew to have the connotation of hopelessness and finality. I grew up to think that once this word was uttered there was no battle. That it was over. Three years ago it was my father who challenged what society had taught me to believe and he will forever be my warrior.

I ride for my dad who three years ago was diagnosed with Stage 4 Adrenal Cortex Carcinoma and six months afterwards passed away. I won’t ever forget how a simple Monday shattered my world when I walked in on my dad embracing my sobbing mother. From that day on things rapidly changed I spent more nights staying up soothing my scared 6-year-old brother in different visitor rooms than in my own bed. Even through chemotherapy, extensive surgeries, and painful treatments I never saw my dad shed a single tear or even complain about the unfairness and finality that his condition meant, yet I did not want to accept that this was it for him. It broke my heart knowing that these treatments were pointless. I can say now that those treatments gave our family minutes, hours, or even days that I would give anything for to experience again. For those moments I am thankful. Back then all I saw was my father’s body withering away, but never his spirit. I can still remember his jokes that somehow managed to get a weak smile out of us. He was the very glue that kept our family together and still is. He was so hopeful till the very end. Not once did he give up, because he did win. He spread so much love and faith within those last six months that I will never take for granted. Every doctor consult he had he didn’t treat his disease as the death sentence we all saw it as. He talked about living life with courage to continue to fight for us. I will always remember his last conversation with me before he was put in life support the next day, “You get caught up with every day life, yet anything can change in an instant. I want you to hope and fight for all you’ve ever dreamed of.” That is why I ride to fight for him because he fought every painful second to hold on until early morning of May 29th, 2011. I ride for his love, his strength, his hopes, and his shared dreams.

I want to ride to continue to spread awareness and faith that one day there will be a treatment so this horrible disease won’t exist. I want to ride to offer strength and love for those who are fighting this right now. I ride so there aren’t empty dinner spots or murmured responses when the word cancer is brought up. I ride so families won’t have to experience the emptiness of a love being ripped away the way my family will always feel. I ride so no one ever has to replay in their mind final conversations regretting all the moments wasted. I ride so everyone has both of their parents at graduations, their daddy walking them down the aisle, or even the childhood piggyback ride from your personal ‘super hero’. Most importantly, no matter what the future holds I know all of your stories will not be in vain and that is what has helped me cope with mine. I ride for my father who fought fiercely and taught me everlasting faith and unshakeable determination. I ride to honor all the warriors and their battles in the search for a cure.