So, this week has proven to be really really rough for me. I knew that things were going to get hectic, but I was still hopeful that everything would turn out ok.

I've come down with some illness. Strep maybe. Swollen lymph nodes, sore throat, muscle aches, head ache, chills, fever etc etc. Everything pointed to an infection of some sort... I was hoping it wasn't swine flu! Haha.

This all happened yesterday. I woke up with a massively sore throat and knew that this was not a good sign. As time passed, I realized I was getting more and more sick than I thought. I had a fever, I started getting the chills, things did not look good.

I went out to the restaurant to get some food into me after taking some vitamins and such. My cousin was working out there along with my uncle. When I overheard them talking about my grandpa...

My grandpa used to live with us in our little home here in Austin. After my grandma had passed away years ago, his vision started getting blurrier and blurrier. Eventually he had lost all sight. On top of that, his memory started to fade. He started to forget where he was and became completely disoriented. It was the beginning of Alzheimer's.

All through out most of middle school, all of high school, and the beginning of my college life, I spent a lot of time at home, caring after my grandpa. It's hard to see someone's health change so dramatically. I remembered when I was young, he was always outside, gardening, planting, and doing various home beautification things. I remember him going on bike rides with me around the neighborhood. He took care of me when I was young. When my parents were at work all day, he was the one who cared after me and my siblings. So it was now my turn to return the favor.

He was the main reason why I chose not to go to school out of state or far from Austin. I knew that his health was deteriorating and who knows when he could go. So I decided to go to school here in Austin, so I could be at home to take care of him in case anything happened.

Just earlier this year, we decided that it would be best for him to go back home to Vietnam to stay with my aunt. At my aunt's house there was always somebody home. So there would always be a person around to care after my grandpa. So he's been in Vietnam since.

So when I was at the restaurant yesterday, I overheard my cousin talking to my dad and my uncle about my grandpa. I heard them say, "Grandpa's in the emergency..."

I immediately ran over to them to find out what exactly was going on...

I found out that my grandpa was having heart problems, so they had to rush him to the emergency. He'd been hooked up to an oxygen tank and is still in the hospital today. From what my cousin told me, one of the valves of his heart is failing. He's not getting enough blood through his body and therefore is not getting enough oxygen. So as of now, he sits in the emergency room breathing on an oxygen tank.

It really sucks to know that I can't be there with him as he goes through this. He took care of me when I was little and now, I want to return the favor and take care of him. But I know that I am helpless in all of this. He's in Vietnam. I'm here in Austin. All I can do is hope that he gets better soon.

One of his grandchildren is about to get married this summer. My brother is about to graduate from high school at the end of this month. I want him to be around for these things and it pains me to think that he might not be around to see all of us grow up.

Although, I know everything that he has taught us over the years have been ingrained within the way we do things. I know that there is a little bit of him that has rubbed off on me. No matter where he is, he is also living through us.

On top of finding out about my grandpa's health... tomorrow marks one year since my uncle's passing from lung cancer. Family members are starting to make their way into town for the various memorial services that we are holding for him. My mom is going down to our temple in San Antonio tomorrow for services. Not just for my uncle, but for my grandmother who passed away just a month ago.

My baby cousins are coming down this weekend for their father's, my uncle's, memorial services at the temple. It's still hard for me now to know that these two little children have lost their father to cancer. I'm starting to get a little too emotional to continue writing about him. I'll have to do an update tomorrow about my uncle...

I knew before this week started that it was going to be rough for me because I knew that this was the week of my uncle's memorial services. But who would've known that so many more things were going to pop up.

But as hard as it is, I know that I will get through all of this. It's going to be a grueling, tough week...

I know that our organization is strictly cancer-based and our ride dedications are for people affected by cancer. But I want to ask to do something unorthodoxed and I want to dedicate my ride this summer, not only for my uncle, but for my grandpa as well. He's gone through so much in his lifetime good and bad. He has made me who I am today. Without his influence on me, I would not be the same person I am. He has lost so much in his lifetime so far. He lost his memory. He lost his sight. He lost the love of his life. He lost his youngest son. I don't know a single person who has been through as much as he has and has lost as much as he has. So I want to ride this summer for him, so he can be proud to say...

"my grandson did that"

This is a picture of me and my grandpa during winter break. I decided, it was a good time to dress him up and make him look fly as heck!

I love this guy:

I hope I look as gangsta as him when I grow up.