I sit now tired, sore, somewhat hungry, with chapped lips (even with mass application of chapstick), with a wind-burnt red nose yet I'm smiling. Today was definitely a difficult day, cycling wise. Our team participated in the LBJ 100 ride today. We were told to complete a metric century (100 km?) which is about 62 miles.

I did 57/62 miles and am still bummed out I didn't do the remaining 5 miles but let me explain. The morning started off meeting at a parking lot on campus to arrange rides out to the LBJ Ranch, where the ride started. A few of us drove out and quickly realized the ride might not be that easy-peasy. The winds were going everywhere! The morning was so cold and windy I almost just wanted to stay in my car. Of course, I did not and joined my fellow riders on the ride. Courtney G. and I stuck together the majority of the ride. I wanted to take an easy pace and she needed a companion so it worked out. For the most part, the ride was fine, just WINDY!!! When we reached rest stop #2, a lot of the community riders opted for the 45 mile route. Courtney and I contemplated the 45 mile route but decided that since we had as a team agreed to complete the 62 mile ride, we had to press forward. Honestly, the next leg to rest stop #3 was amazing! It was pretty much downhill and with a tailwind. All those individuals that opted for the 45 miles definitely missed out. Somewhere along that leg, Courtney and I caught up with Beka and Kathryn. We stopped at rest stop #3 and chatted up the volunteers. All 4 of us were surprised to hear we were the last riders on the road as well as the last T4K people on the road. We were definitely confused! Apparently, some riders didn't make it to rest stop #2 on time, it was closed down and they were diverted to the 45 mile route. =/

With this bit of information, we four took off again only to hit difficult head- and crosswinds and more hills/climbs! About this time, we were all tired and started to drift apart. I stayed back with another rider because of an injury and I did not want her to be left alone. Lo and behold, I ended up alone, ha! She decided to be SAGed in due to knee problems and I kept riding. I caught up to another one of our riders as they were being packed up into a truck. She also decided to SAG in due to knee problems as well. At this point, I could not see any riders behind or ahead of me so I decided to keep pedaling and hope for the best. I rode for quite a awhile and did not encounter cars, bikes or humans. I did see a lot of cows though. Anyways, out of nowhere, a SAG truck appears and they asked me how I was doing. Honestly, my knee was being a nuisance but only because I was getting tired. My main worry was that I was riding alone! Usually, I don't mind riding alone, I actually enjoy it. The difference this time was I was about more than an hour away from anything I knew, no cell phone reception and without a fellow rider to reassure me all was okay. I kept chanting to myself "Why are you riding? Who are you riding for!?" and all the names and faces of people I know flooded my mind. Even the ones my teammates have shared. At one point I was yelling this out loud as I was climbing a hill, wind in my face making my eyes so watery everything was blurry. I believe it must have sounded funny as I have a cold currently and my voice is hoarse. I gave in and decided to SAG the last few miles to rest stop #4 to meet up with my other 2 riders that SAGed in. We drove a bit before we caught up to riders. I probably would not have caught up with anyone and would have cycled all alone for 15 miles so SAGging in was a safe decision. On the way in, we passed up our last T4K girl braving the wind. I feel extremely guilty now that I didn't ask to be dropped off with her to accompany her. I will remember this for future rides, though. Anyways, I met up my other 2 riders at the rest stop and discovered they were both feeling bad and would not be able to ride in the last 9 miles. I decided I could finish the ride and took off on my own. Those first 3 miles after the last rest stop were wonderful! I was breezing by with no problems. Next 4 miles were uneventful but beautiful as I rode next to an amazing river (I don't remember the name?). As I pulled into the LBJ Ranch, I could see there were hardly cars left. My legs were sore and I just wanted to get off and walk but I knew some of the team was waiting so I just kept telling myself 'Push push push'. Somehow I made it to my van. I got off and immediately packed my bike away. The joy of finishing didn't last long when I realized Kathryn was still out braving the winds. It occurred to me I should have waited for her to pull into the last rest stop and ride in with her but I guess the sun and the wind made me lose my focus. I started to worry how she was doing but about 10 minutes after I pulled in, Kathryn rides in! When I saw her, I was relieved she was okay but more than that, I was so proud of her! So many people opted for the 32 mile ride, others weren't able to finish the 62 miles due to time constraints and did the 45 mile. But not Kathryn, she did all 62 miles! Yay for her!

I allowed myself to be overcome by fear and missed out on joining Kathryn in the 62 mile group. At the moment, self-preservation took over my insticts.

Sitting here, typing this up for you, our supporters, I realize that many of our daily obstacles are at times scary. Yet, somehow, some individuals can muster up the courage to overcome that fear and not allow them to be shut down by it. An individual, family, or friend affected by cancer can either allow the disease to take hold or stand up and fight it. Cancer survivors are some of the most courageous individuals I have ever met. They stand up and fight. I need to continue reminding myself of this when I get scared, nervous, tired or frustrated. We cannot accomplish the great successes that await if we give in.

"Why are you riding? Who are you riding for!?"

10 weeks left....